Martin Luther

Commenting on Scientology, Inside and Outside the Church

I’m Declared… Supposedly

Today I got a letter from Cara Golashesky, FLB Justice Chief, penned 29 January 2013, and proclaiming that my wife and I had been declared. I guess someone read our blogs. (How do they manage that, what with the interwebs being off limits? Somebody out there probably snitched on us. Lousy backbiting snitches!) Funny thing, though. I don’t remember a Committee of Evidence duly convened to examine the evidence. My wife doesn’t either. You suppose they held one and never notified us? Nah. They probably just skipped it. We probably wouldn’t have reported in if they’d ordered us to, anyway.

Oh by the way, although they were gracious enough to include the HCOPL Suppressive Acts Suppression Of Scientology And Scientologists, they must have forgotten to include the actual all-important goldenrod Flag Conditions Order itself. Wait… you don’t suppose they never actually published one of those, do you? Wow. That would be kinda off policy, wouldn’t it?

That’s okay, though. I figured they might be pretty busy by the time they got around to declaring us. Fortunately, I invented the perfect answer: The Do-It-Yourself Declare Kit. Whew! That’s a relief!

For those who are curious, we are supposedly guilty of the following (they were nice enough to highlight the proper transgressions in the policy letter):

  • Public statements against Scientology or Scientologists but not to Committees of Evidence duly convened.
  • Continued membership in a divergent group.
  • Continued adherence to a person or group pronounced a suppressive person or group by HCO.
  • Failure to handle or disavow and disconnect from a person demonstrably guilty of suppressive acts.
  • Engaging in malicious rumormongering to destroy the authority or repute of higher officers or the leading names of Scientology or to “safeguard” a position.
  • Violation or neglect of the ten points of Keeping Scientology Working….

One thing puzzles me, though. They talk about all this stuff we’ve supposedly done in relation to something called “Scientology”. I’m not sure what they’re talking about. You don’t suppose they’re talking about that cult led by that Miscavige guy, do you? You don’t supposed they’re calling that “Scientology”, do you? I dunno. I’ve read some of that stuff Hubbard wrote. That Miscavige stuff doesn’t sound too much like that Hubbard stuff to me.

Oh well. That’s okay. I’ll fill out my Do-It-Yourself Declare later. Right now I gotta get some sleep. Gotta be sessionable tomorrow!


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One thought on “I’m Declared… Supposedly

  1. Pingback: Oooh, I’ve been declared! | From Ashes Born

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